Here, I did something:

This is called a doodle blog, yet I haven't been doodling much, have I?

Here, Random PM Doodle:

I don't understand my folks.
I suppose no child ever does.

When I come home, I announce myself by saying "Hello! Hello!" So they're not alarmed to see me. They're older, and no offense, but are losing their hearing as most older/elderly people do. So, I try to be nice and say something when I come in the door, mostly "Hello! Hello!" I got no answer today but I smelt the food from the kitchen. I go in and say hello to my dad. I thought he didn't hear me, so I stepped closer and asked what he was making. He explained he was making fried rice because we have too much rice and it won't fit into rice container. Then he was quiet. I don't know why, figured e is in a mood.

I go into my room, I don't do much online, thinking we're about to eat. I start reading magazine about photography while I'm wait for dinner to be announced. I don't know how long it was, but I got a good ways through the magazine when I hear the sound the forks and knives along plates. So, I go outside my room to go to bathroom, to wash my hands. Both my father and my step mother are almost finished with dinner.

No one called me. There is a plate for me on the table. I'm just so confused. I feel really offended but should I? I mean, I live in their house rent free and they make me dinner. I don't really have nay money right now, so I been happy to have dinner each night because I have no food/money for lunch at work. So, I was excited to hear we were having fried rice but...

...then that. I don't know if I've done something wrong... or if dad's in one of his "You knew I was making Dinner" moods.

I feel like complete shit.

I feel like I'm working hard for nothing. There is little satisfaction in my life and the little I get, I feel bad now for ever getting it. I suppose this is something I'll have to deal with. I guess this is a part of growing up? I honestly have no idea what to do/think. So, I'm just sitting here, hungry. I hear Pat ask dad if I'm gonna eat... I don't knoe what to make of that, even. Did they want me to eat with them? If they did, why didn't they invite me to dinner? I don't need something special, just the normal "Dinner's ready" signal the house is given when food goes on the table. I'm not a damn princess.

But I feel like a complete ass.

I'm so sad I don't even want to RolePlay. My life sucks so much right now I almost wanna drop the little RolePlaying I do. I have so many ideas but I feel like everyone keeps pushing me off or dropping the ideas/threads. I'm so frustrated. Am I boring or something? I was even trying to think of plots that were based on the other mun's chars and yet I'm still pushed away. I have no fucking idea whats going on. I wish someone would clue he the hell in, though.

I should stop complaining, though. I just lost dinner. At least it's not like I lost my job and 4th wall day was fun.

I've uploaded a bunch of new icons... Mostly Reala... for Discedo's 4th wall day...

Make sme almost wanna app him somewhere... Probably best that I don't.

I have so much work this week, somehow I crave more.

Lets hope I'm not becoming a workaholic....

"Yo, Dog. Have you seen Cube?"

( Woof Woof! )
Anyhow. Now I have a Dog!Cube. He is such a good boy. He says good morning to me every morning.

I'm kinda ill tonight. Apparently that awesome looking cupcake i ate two days ago dyed my insides rainbow colors. Whew. When in doubt, choose the bat. I chose the cat, because it was pretty purple icing like Cube... but no. The bat would have saved me.

However, I was able to find a pic of Cube I've never seen before. I love all of Takami Akai's works but I get specially happy when I find something Cube. I wish there was more.

Have a good evening!</div>

This is me and my half complete Gateau costume. lmao. Oh man I fail.

( Click for more creepy )

Maybe it's depression... idk whats up.

I guess I build some thing sup in my head, offline and online...

and when they don't go according to imagined, as always, I get upset.

Idk what to do or who to even talk to without starting Drama.

I just don't know.

I miss brother.

Going to bed before midnight means really weird ass dreams apparently...

All I recall now is I was driving my car and whatever the cause we stopped at this big ass rest stop by the water, there were docks there. Anyhow, so Loren was Idk (Not Shinji yet not Saburo but not All Loren either... like if god mixed them all together... yikes!) Either way, Loren, Ojousama (Who was the only normal one here... that says something), and Anemone (Who was dressed like anemone except diff dress, I'll explain**) we were all in my car, got out at a gas station and switched to this van instead, we were all going to the beach and needed this van!bus cause we were planning to pick up even MORE people. 

( ** Explanation )

Well, while helping get everyone settled into the van, someone thought it was best to leave filing up my car with gas to Anemone-chan. *face palm* She was standing there eating a snow-cone (Which had the consistency of a slurpie, so I ahve NO IDEA how it was on a cone but it was) filling up my tank. I walked over to her and was happy. Shes like "Don't worry about it", suggesting she paid for the gas. It was then I saw she was trying to "Top-off" my tank. I started to freak cause it overflowed all on her slurpie-cone which then fell onto her feet. I was freaking out and I gent to get a towel to help wipe her off and put down more towels in the van so she wouldn't track it everywhere. When I got back to her, Johnny (character) came, dressing in a white Hawaiian shirt, no hat, but still sunglasses. He was talking with Anemone and when I came over he asked what happened and make some kind of remarks but agreed to help carry her back tot he fan, since for SOME REASON she was whining about walking through the grass now. I screamed at her not to eat the snow-cone slushie cause it was covered in gas and she got mad at me and stuck her tongue out at me as Johnny picked her up. I was like "Whatever. We need ot get going."

( WTF Happened to Anemone? )

Then I remember driving the Van with Ojousama at shotgun and SHinji-san in the back, wearing saburo shades and glaring at me in the mirror like a creep. IDK WHO YOU ARE ANYMORE, SHINJI! SABUJIRO?! I have NO IDEA but it was kind of funny to see Loren's outfit change so much.

( Stuffed Animal Museum )

( Shopping with crazies )

( Abel Nightroad, YOU ARE NOT FROGGER! )

( Open Ending )

Weird dreams R weird.

I have migraine at dinner. I excuse myself. I pass out for a few hours. I start to feel better. Apologize to my step mom.

She says "I'm used to it"

Then says "DId you ever finish your room?"

No. I got a migraine.

"DId you dist the wood?"

Guess what? Migraine is back. I LOVE living here.

Goodnight. I'm sick. I'm tired. I'm positive something bad gonna happen about my room tomorrow. I'm down a friend cause I'm a dick, not them. And in all honesty, I think something isseverly wrong with me not the world. I'm gonna ask if Cube's chip event can happen another time cause if I can't pull my life together, I'm gonna ahve to drop. And then I'll be... really sad. That done and said...

Night.

( Knuckles in Halloween Shirt )</div></div>

Isn't my life the bomb.

Apparently that "Dust Me" was written on 08/10. I just noticed it.

My friends r all sick.

I am too tired to be a butler today.

God give me strength... or food. I'll take either or.

So I can fail some more!

( I FAIL BY MYSELF )

I'm never alone, even when I feel I am.

It's about time I get down to business and stop being a slacker. I'm looking for ways to sell my crap off to move. I can't stand one more mind game. I get enough of this crap that I shouldn't have to deal with it when I'm home. Need to find some way to save money. Seriously, Kikaider manga last thing I'm buying... including food. I'll live off whatever I find for a while. It's pretty bad when my home situation makes me want to drink. I don't' drink. I don't smoke but damn. I wish I did. Discedo is like my only escape and I've been pretty fail with it lately. Can't even tag new people. SO lazy.

Had a weird dream about flying people. It wasn't really a dream, I guess. I was half asleep while listening to A Question Of Honour by Sarah Brightman. Flying people from diff anime and real life. It was very strange kinda day-dream. I slept on the floor again last night. I was woken up at like 5 am by a thunderstorm. Damn Florida. At least I felt the breeze... that kinda made me float.

When visiting Shinji, I failed to mention that when we was shopping, I hella was in my own world... pretending I was shopping for my mistress, sometimes thought of myself as Cube in PM5 while retarded Shinjibot was looking and poking at things like an emobot.

This Jazz song isn't too bad... free too. Damn I love Jazz. Classical and Jazz. I guess I'm just some kinda gay guy. Well, I don't know if they were gay but I spoke with about 3 guys today all from California who had lisps. It made me lisp at work. Actually, while talking to a guy about sending in the POA forms I said once we have those "Of Fire" instead of "On File" it made me laugh. Highlight of my day. FIRE!

Why does Kanye Music remind me of Cube? Dude, this is wrong. Why is this remind me of Cube? Makes no damn sense. I guess cause both Kanye West and Cube are awesome in their own ways, but they not the same. Weird. I think I'm just too tried for my brain to care.

I want a sewing machine so I can make Gato costume in a zip and work and focus on a Shinji coat, maybe a Saburo. Damn, a nice Cube PM5 costume with puffy sleeves.

Need to Finish:
Gato Hat
Ojousama Bday Pic
Drunken Raphael and Cube pic
I'll Make A Butler Out Of You song
Start a Doodle Comic...

Tell me Who's invited... You, your friends, and MY DICK.

*dances to single ladies song even if he not single... stfu*

I WANNA PISS ON A TREE, like NOW!!!

*GROWL*

At Shinji's this weekend, folding clothes. I fail cause Shinji told me not to but...

I folded clothes
hooked up Shinji's Tv
Changed light bulbs
Cleaned out food in Shinji's room

and I didn't touch the bathroom. Mainly cause Shinji's dad was like NO THATS MY JOB.
Now, im trying to color but my lungs hurt. I wonder why they do this when i visit. Is it sympathy pain for Shinji's asthma?

I'm tired and I dunno if I can sleep. Sigh.

Discedo News:
Need to make Post for Melody
Prepare for Cube's Chip to be taken out. YAY!



Passing out sounds good about now...

Edit:
I forgot to mention, I'm soon to be proud owner of the hard to find Kikaider original Manga from 1972-1974. Can't you just taste the Sabruo?

It's official now. I'm obsessed. I have my First official Cube Dream. Yep. He was there. No mistake about it.
( ~Fangirl Dream~ )

So, that was a nice 4th of July present~